The A stands for "Actual Event". The B stands for "Both Available Resources and the Application of Resources". The C stands for "Cognition (thought process)". The X stands for "eXperience"
This model is useful in identifying how a family reacts to a crisis. A Crisis is defined as "a dramatic emotional or circumstantial upheaval in a person's life" but we'll replace "person" with "family". The A+B+C=X model is a great way to measure a family's reaction to a circumstance because each family is different and this equation allows for differences.
For example, my husband and I have been married for a year and a half and have known each other for three years. From the moment we met I've been sick with an undiagnosed illness. We started our relationship while I was sick and I am still sick with this illness. We can take a snap shot of right now and analyze how my family is dealing with this illness.
- The A is the undiagnosed illness.
- For B David and I have money, health insurance, doctors, medicine, both of our extended families, friends, and our ward. We have consistently applied health insurance, medicine, and extended families. We haven't utilized our friends or ward very much and have visited doctors off and on since I've been sick.
- Our C has been more of a roller coaster. Some days I'm feeling a little better and can get things done but then I feel sick again. I get discouraged because I want my quality of life to increase substantially but it never does. I have my moments of hope, though, and I try to stay as positive as I can until I can't stand it. David tries to look on the bright side and lift me when I'm feeling down. He often reminds me that "this too shall pass" and I won't suffer forever.
- Our eXperience has been different than others that I've heard of or even how it was before he and I became close. I think the biggest change has been our outlook on the whole situation. I used to feel very held back by my illness and I couldn't see how I could enjoy life. David changed that mindset for me and has helped me maintain it. I still suffer from illness but I am not nearly as sad, hopeless, or useless as I once was.
Do you see how the model works? The beautiful thing about it is that it can be applied to any number of crises. Some examples of crises are death, infidelity, divorce, loss of job, domestic violence, substance abuse, war, natural disasters, and even a child leaving the faith of his youth. All of these situations can be different for each family even if they experience the same Actual Event.
So how can crises help a family?
In Chinese, the symbols for crisis mean danger and opportunity. A Crisis demands that there be a change in the system whether it's positive or negative. A stressor/crisis that comes from outside the family most often brings the family together. Think of the movie Impossible that just came out. It's about a family that is torn apart when a tsunami hits. The entire plot of the movie is their efforts to be reunited as a family once more.
On the other hand, a stressor/crisis that comes from inside the family is more likely to tear a family apart. For example, my husband's father cheated on his wife multiple times and they were unable to restore the relationship. His parents got a divorce and they live in separate cities now. There is no communication between parents and tolerated communication between my husband and his siblings and their father.
In both of these examples, there was a certain amount of danger that prompted some kind of opportunity and action. There is a possibility in families to make positive changes despite what the Actual Event is. By having a stockpile of resources and a healthy outlook on change, families can safely navigate any situation, including those that come from within. A family that uses its resources to the fullest and seeks a positive, realistic thought process will have great success in using a crisis to gain a positive outcome.
Without stress we tend to be very weak.
How weak will we allow our family to be?
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